The widely anticipated round-robin contest for the weekend warriors - weekend players of team tennis - would normally draw in TV and radio crews, journalists and commentators. But this year they had all decamped to Wembley for some reason to prepare for another famous contest there the following day.

Nevertheless, after three hours of gruelling, high-class best-of-four-games rubbers, four contestants emerged with the same number of points. It was then we had to apply the Duckling Worthless system to the scores over gin and tonics to produce a final batting order.

In fourth place was Jon Strangely Successful; in third place and winning the Not Quite Best of Bunch award was Camshaft Llewellyn; in second place and winning the Nearly Best of Bunch award was Wayne Began at the Beganning. This year's Best of Bunch, in a post-Brexit spirit of entente cordiale, was Right Said Fred Prego Prego. Congratulations to everyone on a spiffing tournament and a photo of the much-prized trophies follows.

The morning was capped by outstanding brunch dishes cooked and served by the inimitable Ollie.

Kevin H,